There’s a specific time in our lives we all will enter, it’s called midlife. It happens approximately between the ages of 40 to 60. I used to think this was going to be a time of going off the rails, as you become dissatisfied with your life and question everything. I never heard it referenced to in a positive light. Then there were the jokes about it. Women get mood swings and hot flashes, and men may cheat and buy a brand-new sports car. It made me wonder what it was going be like for me when it was my turn.
Having entered it, I can tell you I didn’t go off the rails. I didn’t feel the need to buy a Harley and ride off to the mountains or long for my younger years, nor did I turn into a mad woman. There were some significant changes, but they turned out to be good for me. It started as I turned Fifty. I began to reassess different areas of my life. My marriage and family life were fine, there were just a few minor adjustments needed there. It was more my career and how I served in ministry at my church which had the biggest shifts. Things I’ve done for years weren’t resonating with me anymore and that was a bit unnerving. I didn’t understand what was happening at the time but found myself going with it anyway. This was so not me in the past.
I reevaluated my friendships and who I still wanted to invest energy and time with. I realized some relationships were more draining than enjoyable. I let them go to the wayside as I invested more time and energy with some new ones I’d been wanting to pursue. I changed my whole home color scheme from warm earth tones to cool blues and greys. I now longed for a brighter and more open feel in my home. I purged my clothes and things I was saving for memories sake or the “you never know day” as now I wanted to be more minimal in what I owned. That was freeing. I also stepped in to new creative aspects of my work that I had been wanting to try and found ways to serve and give back that brought me joy. Nothing crazy in retrospect but still big shifts for me.
Did I question myself about what was happening, absolutely. I wrestled long and hard before making some changes. I ran everything by my husband who supported me, cheered me on and reassured me I wasn’t losing it. I spent a lot of time praying and listening in solitude to hear what was in my own heart. Having spent many years doing what was necessary in the family, now I could ask myself what I wanted my life to look like. I believe the Lord was guiding me through it all and I felt an inner peace leading me forward. Thank God for a dear close friend who listened without judgement, as I spoke about my unrest and gave me honest feedback. Priceless.
One thing I found insightful was reading an essay from Carl Jung called The Afternoon of Life. He said we often look back to figure out how to move forward in mid-life, which is called “The Afternoon of Life.” I was driving myself a bit crazy doing just that because none of it seemed to fit me anymore. Jung suggested this as a time to look inward and learn who you have become, listening to your soul to move forward in this stage of life. What an eye opener.
He referred to your 20’s and 30’s as the “Morning of life”. You are building everything, figuring it all out, learning who you are, trying on different personas or masks as you make your way through. In the Afternoon of Life, you are reassessing what you built, decluttering, purging, and getting honest with yourself about it all. You have lived a while and now get to choose how you want this next part to go until the evening of your life which is 70, 80 and beyond. Carl Jung had a wonderful perspective on aging and spoke about mid life so hopeful and positively. I wish I had read this sooner.
I share this for others who will enter the Afternoon of Life or are in it and feel lost. I am glad God created us for a time to shift into a more meaningful, insightful way of living. We no longer care about impressing others, or what they may think of us. We become unburdened by this immature thinking as we begin to see what’s more important now. In the Morning of Life’s 20’s to 30’s, we didn’t have time for any this. We were working hard and making our way secure. Then before you know it, mid-life enters. No one escapes it but it doesn’t have to be a crisis. This is a wonderful time when you understand it. Especially if you are questioning everything you ever were, believed, lived in, or lived for. It can be a very freeing, meaningful, and soul satisfying journey. It is one that requires making time to listen, reflect and pray for guidance. It’s not a time to recapture our youth or go back to things that once satisfied us but no longer do. We are preparing to live out our best life for the rest of our life. I’m enjoying the Afternoon and seeing God saves the best for us for last.
If this brings anything up for you, I’d love to hear your comments or questions.
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