If you’ve parented a teenager or are in the throws of it now, you understand the title of my blog. Consider the analogy. Some days are fun and exciting. There are lots of laughs, and your heart is filled with unbelievable love and pride toward them. You want to keep them home, spending as much time with them as possible, before they leave the nest.
In the very same day though, maybe the same hour, you remember you have just entered the Lion’s Den. You see the look on their face. Suddenly they have become distant and closed off. The air now frosty, you begin to question yourself:
You may or may not find out what caused the shift in them, but nevertheless, the onus is on you to be the adult in the relationship (whether you feel like it or not). This is the time to hold onto the reigns and ride out the raging hormone horses so to speak, till they calm down and level out. You then give them space, guidance, love and support.
Some days we just respond to them in kind; they yell, we yell. If they get nasty, we get nasty. All the love and affection we felt earlier has now been challenged; at that moment, we don’t even like them. Again, we question ourselves:
The anger, frustration, guilt and inadequacy you feel can make it extremely hard to handle things in a healthy manner. It’s so important for their sake, for your sake and for the sake of the relationship that you “woman up”- “man up” and parent them with intention.
As they go through their teen years the goal is to train them to make good decisions, as well as to handle mistakes and bad decisions, correctly, while they are still in your care. The letting go process with a teenager, can be a difficult transition for a parent. It is different for everyone, depending on the general stability of your teen (emotional, peer pressure, drugs, etc.). Some may require additional support and help, along with your parenting. Just remember, you are the best mom or dad they could ever have. Everything you have ever done for them was out of love. We all make mistakes, so never be afraid to apologize to your teen if necessary. One day your teenager will grow up and they will thank you for all you did for them. Until then, keep up the good work! This is the hardest yet most important and rewarding job you’ll ever do.
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