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Uncovering Unhealthy Coping Patterns: Step One

In my previous blog, I wrote about dysfunctional or unhealthy patterns that we live with.

For some it has become the normal way of life despite how hurtful it can be. We know this behavior is not good for us physically or mentally, it can threaten relationships and even our livelihood, so why do we allow it to continue?


It’s important to understand the “why” of the behavior. What was the original reason why you engaged in it in the first place? Well, maybe it was serving you in some way. Maybe it was a distraction. Maybe it numbed some pain you were feeling. Maybe you were lonely. Maybe it made you feel something you needed at the moment. Maybe it was a generational trait. Maybe, maybe, maybe, but at some point you realize it is no longer serving you. You are now a servant to it. And then of course, you have carefully curated a mask or two to keep anyone from finding out about it.


This is what an unhealthy coping cycle looks like:



This is what a healthy coping cycle could look like:



It’s my hope that by shedding light on this topic, it would empower people to make some changes. People who are sitting beside you at work, church, or school, a neighbor, a friend, or family member are struggling with things you don’t know about. Change is more possible than people understand. Not saying it’s easy, but very possible and within reach. You just have to try.


When you understand what you are trying to soothe or run from inside of you, you can begin the healing journey. Knowledge is power. With this understanding, you can care for the part of yourself that needs tending to with some TLC (tender loving care) and support. We were made for connection, not isolation. So reach out for that support. You can break the cycle. You can get out of a survival mode you may have gotten yourself stuck in and learn to live a healed and a more authentic life! In this day and age, with all of the information and resources available to find these tools, there is no good reason for anyone to continue living in an unhealthy life cycle or behavior pattern.



You are a wonder and a powerhouse. You may not feel like it but it’s true. You were created for love and good works. God made you and formed you and is FOR you. It’s time to step up and step out of anything that is holding you back. Tap into the deep well that is within you and own your power. It will be worth it. You are worth it!


Say it with me, I am worth it!


Regina Stafford, BCC


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